Monday, January 21, 2008

I Hate Lawrence Tynes and You Should Too

Football fans were thisclose to witnessing the greatest Super Bowl match up ever. Yes, ever. One one hand, the New England Patriots. The greatest team in NFL history. 18-0. Brady. Moss. The Hoodie. Seeking perfection.

On the other, the Green Bay Packers. The most storied franchise in NFL history. Favre. Lombardi. Lambeau Field. Seeking a Super upset that would rival Broadway Joe's guarantee.

Instead, we have a blowout in the making featuring the New York Giants led by Manning Light, and it's all thanks to Lawrence Tynes. Lawrence Freaking Tynes!

As giddy as I was in thanking Eli Manning for defeating the Dallas Cowboys in the Divisional Round and giving football fans the opportunity to watch Favre in another championship game at Lambeau, I am equally as appalled at Tynes. Lawrence Tynes.

With the Pats already clinching a spot in Super Bowl XLII, it was Tynes who set up a Super Bowl blowout by drilling a 47 yard field goal in overtime to defeat the Packers in Sunday's NFC Championship Game.

There are those that will blame Favre's two interceptions (the crucial one coming on the Pack's first OT possession). Others will point to Green Bay's inability to run the ball (28 yards on the evening). Still others will credit Eli Manning's error-free play (no INTs for the third straight game). Not me. I blame Tynes.

Where does this guy get off channeling his inner Adam Vinatieri and forsaking his inner Scott Norwood? To say his game-winner was a "clutch kick" is akin to saying Tiger Woods is a "good golfer". Let us not forget, mere minutes before the 47 yard gem, Tynes drew the ire of his frosty-faced coach and devastated his frozen teammates by hooking a 36 yard chip shot on the last play of regulation.

True, Tynes got the scoring started with figgies of 29 and 37 yards to pace the G-Men to an early 6-0 lead. But, this is a four year pro who went undrafted out of Troy. He's a career 79% field goal kicker. His long on the season was only 48 yards. And that wasn't in weather that would make an polar bear shiver. Oh, and did we mention there was a trip to the Super Bowl on the line as well?

"I screwed it up twice," said Tynes after the game. "Thank God we got another opportunity." Oh, I forgot to mention, Tynes also missed a 46 yarder with under seven minutes to play.

And so, as the collective football universe grimaces at the thought of yet another anything-but-Super Sunday we have Lawrence Tynes to thank -- or blame. The last hope of ending the Pats perfection are the New York Giants. The same Giants who lost twice to Dallas in the regular season. The same Giants that were trounced by the Vikings at home, 41-17. The same Giants that were throttled by the Packers in Week 2 and the Patriots in the season finale.

The same Giants who claim Lawrence Tynes as their kicker.

Lawrence Freaking Tynes.

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